Saturday, May 14, 2011
Self Discovery And Fear
It's been a month since I wrote my last blog post, during the time I've done some soul searching and discussion with loved ones. I realised that I had always defined myself through achievements and results. Being forced to rest during this season gave me an opportunity to reflect and examine myself.
In these 4 weeks I have experienced a spectrum of feelings of self-discovery, and a very conscious and continual act of understanding myself in my imperfection, its familiarity and discomfort.
One of the emotions that I experienced was fear. I realised that every moment I spent swirling around in fear, I was cultivating a seed that gave rise to subsequent similar thoughts. The more I did it, the more I was set back by it. Instead of calmly processing the situation and rationally identifying solutions and ways forward, I was feeding energy into something non-constructive.
Having mental fear was like letting myself be scared by a scarecrow – it looked scary and seemed scary, but it’s actually harmless. This fear arised because my brain somehow formulated a perception these non-physical dangers are real dangers – when they are not.